Any readers may thank my Mom for prodding me on this last post. I thought I was close enough to home to enter everyone's graces, but maybe Mom's right after all.
When we next meet in person, I will reaffirm to you how invaluable my experience overseas has been to my life. This was a year of testing for myself. This was the post-college, you have a degree now 'do you have what it takes to survive in the real world?' year. And well...I have survived, and now carry a new confidence that I can be whatever I set my mind on becoming.
Given my firm satisfaction with my last year, I was hoping that these last few weeks would be full of festive-like activities - dining and merry making with dozens of old students, co-workers, friends from the bible-study we lead, and friends from Jubilee Church. These people have come to mean a lot to me. There is so much shared admiration and delight in one another that it would be a pity not to enjoy each other as much as possible before this season reaches its end.
But here is the sad thing. That throat infection I mentioned two posts ago has returned with hell fury. It never fully went away, as my throat was often sore over the last 3 months, but this time I gained a nasty phlegmy cough, a deviated voice, and its resultant weakening. I have only been able to employ my voice for work hours over the last two weeks. Evenings and weekends? I don't speak. I have said two words today. I also took a sick day, but even with all of these measures my voice remains irredeemable. The throat specialists have been giving me lots of pills (over a dozen a day...Korean style) which has included steroids for the last week, but still no recovery. Baffling.
So my life has been awkward, even pathetic, for these last two weeks. Many friends have begun phoning me for 'one last horrah' but I can't even pickup the phone. I text them back: sorry, can't speak, or meet for that matter. When I do go out for lunch with co-workers or go to Church its unbelievably trying. Everyone feels bad for you. They want you to participate and have fun with them, so they do their best, and God bless them for that. But in the end, it's exhausting and uncomfortable being trapped in silence like this. It's impossible to shake the feeling that I'm being cold and rude by not acknowledging them with my conversation. My life turns into sherades that wishes it was a game but is really my only way to communicate. It is an impressive handicap for someone like myself who is so dependant on his voice as a mode of personality - a mode of existance. And even if I could put up with being that awkward silent guy at the end of the table that is somewhat burdensome to the group, I can't participate in the customary social beverages: coffee, tea, or alcohol - all harmful to my throat. Last Sunday I bumped into a student on the street. I hadn't seen her in months which is a bit awkward in itself, and all I could do was make hand jesters that I couldn't speak. Then realizing nothing else could be done, we parted. It felt so dissappointing.
Unfortunately, this has turned into a rant and I hope you can understand because I don't have much opportunity to express it these days. Please feel free to join the amassing prayer team for my health. It would be a pity to have this persist for my final 2 weeks. Everyone wants to finish strong. I want everyone to know how lucky I am to have met them.
Maybe we could take a moment for '10 Things Mike can't wait to experience back at home!'
1) Drinkable tap water. I'm tired of boiling water in a pot and carrying bottles from the store.
2) Lounging at home. Not just my parents' place, but all Canadian homes are so comfy compared to the bachelor pad I've got here.
3) Quality speakers to listen to music on. Ipods and laptop speakers are insufficient.
4) Driving. Oh man, I miss the feeling of being behind the wheel.
5) Canadian space. It's so cramped in Seoul (population density is a whopping 17,219/km2)
6) Canadian air. Which could probably cure my throat in seven deep breaths.
7) Canadian beer. Rickards White, Sleeman's Honeybrown, and Fort Gary Dark.
8) A reasonable temperature in public buildings and transporation. Not Korea's 28 C.
9) Being able to talk to pretty much anyone I can see.
10) Spending time with you!!
My school screwed up my flight so I don't know the exact date of my arrival, but within the first few days of July is certain. Peace out!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
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